Modifying one’s vehicle is the fastest way to demonstrate uniqueness. It says, “World, instead of cruising on the freeway I beat a path for myself. Look out!”
Most drivers are happy with a spoiler or a body kit. Even a few interior spangles can make a boring car an otherwise fun experience.
In the opinion of this writer, it’s best to stick to practical options instead of silly ideas.
Here’s a good lens to apply when considering an accessory: will this improve my life on a daily basis? If the answer is no or “I like it,” which is the same as no, skip the accessory.
Most cars today come loaded with doodads only found in luxury cars a decade ago. When push comes to shove, chances are good you can live without most aftermarket accessories.
Spend money on vacations, experiences, and education instead of silliness. Here are five you can strike from your shopping list right now.
Licence Plate Flipper
You know how in the movies when a character wants to evade police by hiding his identity? It’s a nifty trick, especially when the car is a bright orange Lambo; cops will never figure that one out.
Sometimes he has to pull out a screwdriver to replace his license, but James Bond had a cool device that flipped his plate, revealing another behind it.
This device, which you can find online, will flip your plate out of view. That way those pesky cop cameras can’t identify your car.
It’s great until they pull you over and find this installed on your bumper. Then it’s off to the clink you go with a hefty fine for breaking the law.
That said, if you own any of the rest on this list, you may wish to hide your identity out of self-respect.
Car Microwave
The microwave revolutionized mealtime in the 1970s. What once took minutes could now cook in mere seconds, allowing humanity to speed up a little more.
But, early microwaves were bulky. Today’s microwaves are so light, children can lift them.
Speaking of today, it seems life moves so fast we no longer have time to heat up food in the house. We have to take raw food with us into the car.
Thankfully there is a solution, the Mini Microwave. The Mini Microwave sits plugged into the charging port or former cigarette lighter hole. One can cook a steak on the way to work!
The only problem is, with two hands on the wheel, who could operate this thing?
Steering Wheel Tray
No car microwave setup would be complete without a place to eat once the food is warm.
Cars don’t come with tables, but the steering wheel tray solves that obvious oversight by car engineers. Clearly, they missed the opportunity to drop a tray right on the business end of the steering column.
Like the microwave, this one is a while-parked option only. Of course, one could find a nice park bench or eat at a proper table inside a building too.
Downside? Not much, but considering belly-space, this won’t work for those most often caught eating in the car.
Espressgo
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If you’ve gotta have the microwave and the tray, then you’re gonna need a way to make some top-notch espresso to wash down your steak.
From the otherwise reputable coffee company, Lavazza, the Espressgo (clever, Lavazza, clever) brews up a shot of espresso with only 12 volts of power.
Yup. And with your tray, you have a place to safely set your espresso while you eat and commute.
French Fry Holder
Because cars had no other functioning place to safely nestle some fresh cut fries, the French Fry Holder rounds out the last three accessories for super-dumb accessories you can actually buy.
It’s like a cup holder, but for fries, so you can put your fries in it.
Here’s the best part. If you have the microwave, there’s no pressure to eat and drive. When your fries go cold, you can nuke them at the next stop.
Before purchasing any of these, consider the scenario when someone important hops in the passenger seat, a boss, potential future spouse, the president?
Will you have enough fries to share?